Christmas: The Challenges of Dealing With Sibling Rivalry in Seniors

Is there such a thing as sibling rivalry in seniors and at Christmas, of all times? Maybe they do not know any better. Could it be that these siblings are reverting to childlike behavior again? Perhaps there are times when the sibling rivalry has never been resolved. 

Sibling rivalry can occur at any age. Baby boomers and seniors are not exempt from sibling rivalry. Place a few siblings in close proximity to each other and it can surface in many different ways. Perhaps the youngest of the seniors are the least likely to demonstrate sibling rivalry? Maybe the oldest of the seniors are the most likely to demonstrate signs of sibling rivalry.

The medicaldictionary.com offers two definitions for sibling rivalry.

“Sibling competition between siblings for the love, affection, and attention of one or both parents or for other recognition or gain.”

Competition for the love, affection and attention of parents is a normal phenomenon in children. It can continue with adults and has psychological implications when it goes beyond mere competition.

What is sibling rivalry?

Perhaps this statement best describes it,  “the intense, emotional competition among siblings – brothers and/or sisters that pits one against the other to obtain parental affection, approval, attention, and love.”

Note that for seniors, since the parents in question are no longer alive in the majority of situations, it may be the memory of earlier competition for the parent or parents, that is the emotional trigger.

Sibling’s genes are different. There may be health status factors in ongoing sibling rivalry. For example, if one member of a family has Alzheimer’s Disease, he or she may be reliving his or her past where sibling rivalry is a part of one’s early years.

Where there is dementia, there can be confusion, as well as sibling rivalry.

There can be a huge difference in the ages of siblings and the sibling rivalry may come from different periods in their lives. In other words, an older sibling may have sensed sibling rivalry with a brother or sister of approximately the same age. At times, that sibling rivalry may be from competition with a much younger sibling.

Understanding where a sibling rivalry relationship lies is not always easy to determine in seniors. When sibling rivalry affects the health of family members, it should be dealt with immediately, whenever possible.  

Understanding the reality of the possibility of ongoing, unresolved, sibling rivalry in seniors, makes it easier to comprehend why there can be family concerns that need resolution in order for there to be peace at Christmas, as well as at other times of the year.