Are you happy? This title, "Tips
to being happier in 28 days", sounds like a project you or other baby boomers and seniors can tackle in
February, (except that February 2012 is a leapfrog year, but 29 days would be all
right, too.) Regardless of the year, month
or number of days, you can be a happier person in 28 days, if you choose to
become proactive about your happiness. Are you willing to put in a little bit
of extra time and effort into becoming happy or happier? Where should you start to make
a change for the better in your degree of happiness?
Remember that happiness is a
unique, individual thing. It is an important part of your emotional, mental and
spiritual health, as well as your physical health. You can control your own
happiness, at least to some extent.
Tom G. Stevens, PhD, in his
book, “You Can Choose to be Happy” suggests that we can "Choose to
make happiness a top goal."
Consider the following tips
with respect to being a happier person in 28 days.
Week one:
This week will be oriented
towards discovering what makes you happy. When you are unhappy, there is
obviously a deficit of happiness. Somehow, that deficit has to be resolved.
Only you know what it will take to fill that void. What do you think will make
you happy or happier? Make a decision to be happy or
happier, regardless of your situation or circumstances.
For example, you may
not be happy with your current weight, but you know that losing weight makes
you feel better about yourself. You are probably happy or happier if you
weigh less. Do not give in to unhappiness because of your weight. You
can do something about it. Focus on what makes you happy.
In this instance, begin to focus on a weight loss program. Take positive,
constructive steps towards your happiness, as you begin to take the steps that
will help you to lose weight.
Week two:
This week you will focus on figuring
out what makes you unhappy. Obviously, there must be a cause, if filling the
void has not resolved your unhappiness problem. Remember that everyone should
be happy. You deserve to be happy, too. Determine what makes you
unhappy.
For example, perhaps you are unhappy about your old car. Take specific
measures to fix, repair, eliminate or remove whatever makes you unhappy with it, wherever possible. In other words, make proactive changes. That old car could make someone else happy, if they know how to repair
it. You might begin to look around for another car to replace it or perhaps someone
to fix it for you. Gradually begin to get rid of
all possible factors in your life that cause you to be unhappy.
For example,
one by one, begin to dispose of the old, broken down or worn out items that
have become a burden to you. Do you need to carry them?
Week three:
During the third week, while
still working at being happy, you will look seriously at the negative factors
that consistently cause you and others to be unhappy. If you cannot eliminate them,
is there a way you can turn these negatives into positives? It may take some
ingenuity on your part. Turn what makes you unhappy into what makes you happy,
if possible.
For example, if you are in financial straits, look at possible
employment to help meet your needs and desires.
Find a way to deal with
anything that makes you unhappy, but cannot be eliminated, disregarded,
prevented or avoided.
For example, your home may be old, but you can make
renovations to it.
Ask yourself how important
these things, issues, concerns or factors are to you. Are they going to
determine your level of happiness for the rest of your life or will you choose
to be happy in spite of them? The decision is yours.
Week four:
During week four, begin to look
at the previous transitions or changes in your happiness level over the past
few weeks. You have discovered many different and exciting things
about yourself and your happiness. Your degree of happiness level has probably
increased. You might want to document these changes.
In order to stay happy, there may be things that you still need to do, so start working on
them in order to change what you can.
For example, you are unhappy about the
flooring in your home, find a way to replace it. If you do not like your
hairdo, talk to a stylist.
Determine exactly who or what
is still making you unhappy and is likely to make you unhappy in the future.
For
example, your in-laws may be making you unhappy because they are hypercritical.
Having a heart-to-heart talk with them may solve that problem. Your children
may be making you unhappy because of their attitude to life. Is this a
reflection of your own unhappiness? With encouragement, they can change too.
There are times when
inappropriate, heart-breaking, negative relationships can make you unhappy. At
times, it is advisable to walk away from them. (Sometimes running from them
seems even wiser.)
“Can I do something about
this?”
You should ask yourself this
question anytime you are unhappy. Never settle for being unhappy.
Taking life one day at a time,
over the next 28 (or 29) days, you will find that your happiness level is
something that will fluctuate to some degree. Many times, happiness has
something to do with where a person is at mentally, emotionally, spiritually
and physically.
If you identify the most
important factors that you can change in yourself and then, work at changing
what you can, other things that make you unhappy will gradually fall into place. They may not loom as large as you think they are and in time, you may be
able to do something about them. In other words, keep everything in its
proper perspective.
Taking a proactive stand for
your own happiness is important. Once you have dealt with your own unhappiness,
you will have learned tips that you can share with others.
“What is the secret to your
happiness?” someone may ask you, in the future. “Did you inherit the happiness
gene?”
That is a possibility you
cannot rule out. This time, it may be your 28 (or 29) day project that changed
your degree of happiness.
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