How to Deal With Sarcastic People: Tips For Baby Boomers and Seniors

Dealing with sarcastic people is not always easy, particularly for baby boomers and seniors, who are accustomed to being treated with respect. In fact, it can be intimidating, annoying and embarrassing to anyone ridiculed, although to the one making sarcastic remarks, it may appear funny.

How to deal with sarcastic people entails understanding the nature, as well as the purpose of sarcasm.  

What is sarcasm?

The freedictionary.com suggests that sarcasm is

“A cutting, often ironic remark intended to wound” or “a form of wit that is marked by the use of sarcastic language and is intended to make its victim the butt of contempt or ridicule”.

You cannot control the sarcasm or sarcastic comments of other people; nor do you need to do so. You can learn how to control your response to the darts hurled at you by sarcastic people. Another option is simply allowing others to defend you.   

Maintain your composure.

Regardless of sarcastic comments made by people, it is important to maintain your composure or regain it, as soon as possible. Initially, you may be stunned, shocked and appalled or experience frustration, resentment and anger, particularly when the comments made, refer to something that you cannot change or control.

Know that others will watch to see what happens when there is a sarcastic comment hurled at you. Many people laugh when another person is the victim of verbal shame or contempt. Others remain silent, not wanting to become involved.  

Identify the source and reason for the sarcasm.

Many of the sarcastic comments are passed down through the generations. For example, “Like father, like son,” does not necessarily hold a lot of significance, other than an acknowledgement of familial similarities. These kinds of sarcastic statements can be painful for the recipient.

On the other hand, there are many typical sarcastic comments that are distinct to specific nationalities, for example, British bullying tactics.

Why is there sarcasm being directed towards you? 

Is the person using sarcasm envious of you? By insulting or hurting you, he or she may be seeking your status in a family or place of employment.  

Control your response to sarcastic comments.

You can turn around and run away in the face of sarcasm, but that is not always the best response. Over time, particularly when this happens repeatedly, you may cringe at first, but you will gradually become strong enough to face sarcasm.

Facing sarcasm from others may mean ignoring it, no matter how much it hurts or doing absolutely nothing. 

Perhaps there is some truth in the sarcasm and you can acknowledge it graciously, either to yourself or with others. Maybe the sarcastic comment is coming from a well-meaning friend who is attempting to strengthen you in an area of weakness.

Then, there is the art of rebuttal. The danger with attempting rebuttal to sarcasm always lies in the reality that you may find yourself sinking to the level of the sarcastic person. This may cause the sarcasm to escalate.

On the other hand, effective rebuttals act as rebukes directed towards the sarcastic person and bring about a halt to his or her antagonism.

Wit, that is true wit, invites laughter. When you laugh at a sarcastic person, inwardly or outwardly, you start to generate positive, constructive feelings, as you gain control. The darts may fly around you, but will eventually boomerang back to the person who is making the sarcastic comments and fall on his or her own head.

Instead of saying, “That’s not fair; I don’t deserve that,” try responding with “I’ll not wear that jacket today, as it does not fit me. Perhaps you would like to try it on for size?”         

Forgiveness goes a long way. Accepting a sarcastic person for who he or she is, allows room for potential change in the future.